The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.Īnd there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone.Normally I try to avoid profanity in my book reviews, but when the subtitle of the book is a no- guide to world mythology, it’s a battle already lost. Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cory O’Brien is book of modernized versions of more than 50 myths and legends from around the world.Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy.Īnd Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face.Īll our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate.
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